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Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

09.06.2025 00:00

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Is it common for girlfriends to have close male friends who are single and not related to them?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What is the meanest thing your husband has said to you?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are some funny and smart quotes?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I can read

Can trans people tell me what the criteria for a woman is excluding self identification (facts do not rely on self belief)?

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Have you ever witnessed political correctness harm someone?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Can you write a letter to your first love without mentioning his/her name?

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can count

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP